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Hole in the Brain

My mind is shot.

I’m having a typical moment. Well, really not so typical as of late.

Just a moment that’s similar to ones in the past. Where I’m tired and coiled into myself and regret every choice I’ve ever made.

Hi, I’m Ericka. Nice to meet you.

It’s just a few things. Little things that weave together into a much larger blanket.

Or straight jacket.

It’s a moment where I walk away from the God of the universe and sit and pout because “life isn’t fair.”

This is apparently going to take a awhile.

Life’s hard when ADHD is thrown into the mix. It’s just…hard. But everything’s hard.

I’m not naive to that fact.

It’s just nice sometimes to recognize it. To say it out loud. To drop all need for pretense and picture perfect photos that angle out the dumpster fire in the corner.

And there God is. Waiting patiently in all His glory.

And there I am, hole in my bleeding brain, offering him that alongside my weather-beaten heart.

I’m afraid He might be getting the raw end of this deal. But something tells me He is and always will be okay with that.


A Violent Hope is no available on Amazon.

By Ericka Clay

Hey, I'm Ericka! I'm a traditionally (and self) published novelist, former atheist, and current Christian. I know. I just finished writing my super gritty novel, a Violent Hope, that isn't your typical, cavity-inducing Christian fiction. So I currently find myself between a rock and a hard place when trying to find a publisher. What’s a girl to do? Publish the book herself! I'm creating my own imprint (Believable Books) and posting every detail about it on Twitter (@erickawrites). Come learn more about my process and my novel, A Violent Hope. And don't forget to say "hey" when you see me online.

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