Just your neighborhood woman child.

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I’ve been praying.

And praying.

And praying.

I know there are people who think praying for “trivial” things is silly, but I pray when I get a paper cut. And I messy-pray. I mean I sound like an over-exhausted toddler God has to constantly carry around on His hip.

I’m thirty-six. I should be invested in the lives of celebrities I’ll never meet and airfrying the blinds on our windows, but I’m at the point in life where I only have one question on my mind 99% of the time:

God, what is it you want me to do?

I’m a writer by trade. Okay, maybe not by trade because that would insinuate I actually make a living at this gig. I don’t. I do it because my heart loves it, and everything in my DNA tells me this is what He wants from me. I used to not think that way. I used to be an atheist who thought I was randomly born with a genius hardly anybody understood, which in my mind, naturally made me better than pretty much anyone.

Obviously, I was never really good at math.

I’m the current day Paul of Tarsus, scales at my feet and my eyes wide open. And I’m looking around and want to shake everyone and go, “KIM KARDASHIAN DOESN’T CARE IF YOU GET EXTENSIONS TO LOOK LIKE HER!” but I feel like my noise would fall on deaf ears.

And yet? Jesus has written a message within me, and I know I’m tasked to put it on (digital) paper. Okay, and real paper, too. So my prayer, the answered portion of the “What should I do?” question is this:

What I made you to do.

My newsletter peeps already know how I shut down my social media and my blog. All that social stuff is gone for good for me (I enjoy quiet and living life without captioning it in my head for Insta way too much). But I missed blogging. It’s going to look different. All my past posts (I’ve started to add them to “Essays” at the bottom of this page if you want to check them out) served their purpose. Now, I think I’m just supposed to show you who I am without a smidge of pretense. I am a woman child who still likes Hanson and wonders why nobody smiles anymore. I’m a woman child who’s loved by Jesus and wants to show that love to others. Not to convert them. I can do no such thing. But to remind them whose they are, and to pray deeply that they return to a Father who’s never stopped loving them.

Also? I’m back to writing a book. It’s a small and secret project that I might talk little about or everything about. Who knows with me.

I’m grateful to be walking on the right path. Funny how many twists and turns there always are but I suppose that’s half the fun of it.

In the meantime, I hope God’s limbered up that hip of His. I feel another prayer coming on.


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4 Comments

  1. Ericka,
    As always, I love hearing what pours out of you. Love the way it resonates with echoes of my younger self. The Holy Spirit will surely blow his words in you places you’ve never imagined. Let the Wind slick your hair, press your flapping clothes around you, dear woman child. May gusts lift you through the clouds as He presses vision and awe into your every cell.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ericka, I know God carries me around on His hip, lately most especially. I love your loving and caring imagery. I also really like how you said you are not trying to convert people, just reminding them of to who they belong,, just beautiful. I very much enjoy your blog. with love, Lisa

    > WordPress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lisa! Yeah I know we’ve all had those seasons of needing His constant care. Praying for you as you seek Him. And yes, that’s something I’m trying to really tune into – loving people and showing them Jesus rather than telling them about Him. Most people (in this country) have already heard of Him but haven’t been shown His love. That’s something I’m trying my best to do.

      Like

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