Project Type: Essays
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The middle of everything.
I am most peaceful when I seek Jesus, and in seeking Jesus, I can clearly see the “middleness” of things. There’s a point from which you walk one way or you walk another, and suddenly you’re up in arms against and far from the middle. When I read Scripture, I don’t see a vast expanse […]
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Trees I’d lay to waste.
My Google Docs file looks a bit like my brain: an unwieldy mess of words and half thoughts that are crammed into digital airspace nobody is bothered by but me. It truly is killing me slowly. I’m writing a novel, and I no longer want to be writing this novel. I love the idea, the […]
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He remembers that we are dust.
I think it all boils down to these little minds of ours. How we can see the world with big eyes or ones that are appropriately small. How we can either play God’s game or ours. Because in the end, the latter choice is the choice to lose. And it’s hard living in a world […]
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Perfectly imperfect.
ADHD. It’s the non-existent thing that is very existent. At least in our lives. I used to be one of the naysayers. Even as a kid when I knew a few friends who were supposedly hyperactive, I always thought it was a copout. Their parents were horrible people who just couldn’t handle the gig. Oh, […]
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All the shades of gray.
I am in the valley. And not the bad one where vultures are circling and dying to stab out my eyes with their…beaks? Do vultures have beaks? I don’t know. I only went to private school for a million years. But a valley no less. I am grateful. I say it over and over again, […]
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Nothing in my hands.
I’ve been doing this all wrong. In my own self-centered way, I’ve been raising my daughter in my image. I’m not good at the letting go, the giving up. The watching as control slips its hand out of my own. She’s not me. And I am not God. I’ve had a renewal in my faith […]
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This one’s for you, Mel.
I wasn’t going to write today. I’ve been too busy dancing with a demon and crying at very inopportune times, like driving towards incoming traffic and pretending I’m singing my favorite Hanson song to throw off the faces speeding towards me. These? They aren’t tears. They’re mmmbops. But then my father called. And after I […]
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Reading the fine print.
My daughter wants to be a detective when she grows up. This means she’ll have to be a police officer first. It’s taken everything in me not to shout, “Do you even watch the news??” Which would be a moot point considering I already know she doesn’t. Also, I don’t either. But the blaring screens […]
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Just another day.
We’re painting our house. There’s a mess all over the floor, and opened containers of paint on my kitchen counters, and wall things that have become floor things, and an overall sense of life being askew and order being put on hold. My dog ate a bird today. Okay well, really, just killed it and […]
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Me and my golden calf.
Sometimes, the prettiest people have the ugliest hearts. There’s a somebody I used to know who was my golden calf. I hated having an idol, but I needed an idol. Something to admire with my eyes and say, “This is what you don’t measure up to.” And then I’d dig my fingernails into the dirt, […]
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