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To suffering: until we meet again.

My Job period is coming to a close.

If you haven’t heard me screaming from my rooftop and seen the clumps of hair I’ve been scattering through the city, then let me bring you up to speed: I’m thirty-three-years-old. And I’ve been battling acne.

It’s been a hard turn of events for someone who was once stopped in the street by a member of the male sex in his mid-twenties and was told point blank, “You are really naturally pretty.”

It also may have been in the middle of the night. And that guy might have been stumbling drunk out of a bar.

But still.

I’ve learned this: I’m a very vain person, and I put a lot of stock into my looks. Which is really too bad because despite the acne, my looks are leaving me and will continue to do so.

Age, man. It’s a losing battle.

But I’ve chosen better instead of bitterness. I’ve chosen the Job route: getting angry at God only to have a conversation with Him and to really understand that He is the Almighty, the creator of heaven and earth. And maybe this point in my life isn’t a punishment but an opportunity.

An opportunity to get over myself and learn who I really am.

Without all that wretched prettiness getting in the way.

I have a purpose, a calling. An urge to write truth and let it sting the page.

Maybe I’ll focus on that for a little bit. And let the catcalls of a mid-twenties drunkard be the faint whisper of a bitterly sweet life.

Once here. Now gone.

Bring on the future.


Never fear. I’ll be writing another post about how exactly I cured my acne in case you, too, are an early-thirties victim of this Job-like epidemic. Prayers and hugs to you. And perhaps start walking around aimlessly in the city to find some drunk dude willing to give you well meaning compliments.

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Three easy ways to save the world.

Somebody on Instagram mentioned how things haven’t changed for us women.

And she’s absolutely right.

And they haven’t changed for the men either.

Or the children.

Or every person every shade under the sun.

We all live in a personalized hell. And Satan has an uncanny way of making us feel like we’re drowning in a pool of our own making.

He also does this cute little thing where he allows you to bob your head awhile to stare at somebody else’s pool. And there they are, lazily floating on their pool float, soaking up the sun.

Jerks.

Right?

I’m not a fan of the “-isms.” Which is a major 180 from the person I used to be. When I was twelve I asked for books about Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan for Christmas. I soaked up every ounce of their lives, their existences, what they fought for. I had no God, not really, so I needed people.

I needed people to save me.

My teenage years were very dark. I ran for miles and miles and miles in the incredibly chest crushing Houston heat. I hated my body, myself and in some sense, I wanted to disappear. I ate nothing but small portions of grapes and pretzels with a little bit of mustard (how I thought this was a brilliant idea is beyond me, well, this older version of me, but I digress) and every time I sat in my closet to readĀ Cold MountainĀ (summer reading), I started to cry. But not just cry. Panic cry like someone was trying to kill me.

People talk about money and privilege like it solves everything.

It solves absolutely nothing. And I’m convinced it’s just another shiny thing Satan uses to get you to lift your head.

Like fighting for something you believe in even if that means fighting against somebody else.

I’ve thought about it for a long time. Prayed about it, too.

This world will not change on our own accord. We are not the brilliantly evolved beings we like to believe we are just because we have indoor plumbing.

The same issues that arose in biblical times arise now. And we still solve them the same way: with the force of our hands.

So how do we really solve the problem?

Here, let me help:

  1. Christ. Follow him. Give up everything else that is shiny and beckoning and makes you believe you’ll have it all figured out “if just.” If just nothing. Satan knows your heart and your mind. He’ll keep playing you. And he’s very good at it.
  2. Stop the pack mentality. Stop the -isms. Stop grouping yourself into a category and grouping everyone else into another. JUST. STOP. IT. I know you think you’re helping, and if we could just cut that other group down, then wow, we’ll really get somewhere! No you won’t. You won’t get anywhere.
  3. Instead? Look everyone in the eye as the individual they are. Look at every situation as a specific occurrence you can handle with God’s help. Otherwise, you’ll move through life like a mindless pack animal who starts to get twitchy every time somebody posts something on Facebook that’s counter-intuitive to your way of thinking. Nobody like twitching. Nobody.

And here’s one more I’ll throw in for free: don’t judge. I firmly believe our paths as Christians are highly individualized and even though we come together as one body, we all have separate purposes. Some of use might be missionaries, some of us might be called to stay right here. Some of us will be hanging out with the used and abused, some of us will be working with those who label themselves as the quintessential Christian and are under the impression their feces gives off the scent of fresh, cut roses (mmmm!).

So if you happen to be bobbing along in your pool, skin soaking in the sun, hop off your float. Get into someone else’s pool. And help them out.

Otherwise?

We’ll all start to drown.


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