Galatians 1:10 has been hitting home this week. From determining the best way to share these diary entries to deciding the intentional steps I need to take to be a true servant of Christ, I’ve been doing a lot of internal searching and a lot of external praying for God’s guidance.
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
Listen to all my diary entries here.
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I thought from time to time I could republish some work lingering in my portfolio. Here’s a piece from that collection. I hope you enjoy.
There’s a very small and beautiful Japanese lady called Marie Kondo who goes into people’s homes, helps them assess what’s needed in their life and what isn’t, and then has them say a deep and heartfelt goodbye to all of the personal items that once had a place in their existence but have long since wreaked havoc on the state of their affairs.
She’s basically me if she came with a set of matches and an affinity for the phrase, “Do you really need that sweater seeing that we’re all gonna die one day anyways?”
Matt and Ava have learned how to hide their things. It really is a glorious art to find that pair of sweatpants with the knee in the hole and the waistband that’s too tight, scrunching itself into a neat little ball in the closet as if I’m some well-mannered Japanese TV host with a penchant for sparing people’s feelings and who doesn’t enjoy the smell of burning fleece.
I just feel that stuff is stuff. To tag a sentimental value to something seems almost foreign to me, save for the few trinkets from close friends and family that actually mean something. But gathering stuff for the sake of stuff gathering is akin to the man storing surplus grain in the larger barn he builds so that he can take a load off, pop open a cold one, and enjoy the feats of his labor (Luke 12:16-21).
Oh but then spoiler alert: he dies.
I have to ask myself daily where my treasure is. I have to light my own match and hold it close to the things I think I own. I own nothing. I am a steward of God’s good graces. I am merely borrowing my home and my car and my dog and my daughter and my husband and all the other things that surround me that reflect an erroneous semblance of safety.
There is nothing safe about this world. Remember that. I’m not saying there is no joy, no hope. Oh gosh no. WE are that joy and that hope to a barren world that thinks it knows better. Which is why it’s so important to burn the mental ties to anything that keeps us from being salt and light.
The more tethered we are to “our” treasure, the less valuable we are to others.
But the more we light the fire to the ties that hold us to worldly thinking, well, we lift up and away, feet dangling, eyes toward heaven.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
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I had a rough weekend. My battle with depression, anxiety, and body dysmorphia reared its ugly head again, and I was caught spiraling. However, God is so good. Through His Word and His people, my heart healed quickly after this last episode, and I wanted to share the importance of being open and honest with our mental health struggles for the sake of the Church.
Also, I talk about how this podcast is no longer a podcast, and how I’ll really need your help to keep sharing these messages with those who need them.
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
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I don’t have everything figured out. But as I study God’s word and remove distractions from my life to hear His voice, I’m met with absolute peace, including when it comes to my writing career.
I share next steps for my books and also talk about the ways God has been moving through my life recently.
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
Listen to all my diary entries here.
Mentioned in this episode…
The Bible Recap
The Message
You might also like…
Writing in the desert.
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I thought from time to time I could republish some work lingering in my portfolio. Here’s a piece from that collection. I hope you enjoy.
I’ve been playing at this for so long, I sometimes don’t know the sound of my own voice.
I’ve become the thing I think that I used to hate. The woman sandwiched so perfectly into life that you’d never think to pop her out of it, put her in brand new territory.
Have I gotten stale? Am I nothing more than a useless bag in the wind?
Nah, I’m just thirty-seven.
I had a conversation with a friend about leaving your phone’s flashlight on. I’ve done this several times, but the worst part is scrambling to find how to turn it off. And it’s like my brain just can’t remember that step, so there I am, illuminating my whole world. Or rather, blinding everyone in the eyes.
My daughter giggles at me, gives me an “Oh, Mom.” And I look around like, is she talking to me? When did this happen? When did I become a mother of twelve-going-on-thirteen-year-old? When did this phone become the Rosetta Stone that I’ve still not managed to crack?
The world would make me think it’s all over. I found the first gray hair a few days ago in the Pet Supplies Plus parking lot. It was wiry and at half mast, and I ripped it out of my head. “Don’t do that!” Matt said, and I would have been more suspicious of myself if I hadn’t. Who goes around with a broken TV attena jutting out of their crown and clawing at the sky?
All of these things remind me of the thing I knew I’d never become. Old. No longer easy on the eyes (Ericka had her day, friends). I’m a walking, talking hormonal mess who keeps dialating people’s pupils at the random, and I no longer have any balance. I turned my head the wrong way the other day in our shed and almost ended up sprawled over my daughter’s bike.
I’m the female version of Mr. Magoo, slightly less myopic and with enough sense to worry about these things. But then again, I don’t worry much.
The whole world will pass away. Did you know that? You’re sitting here but one day you won’t. I’m typing these things, but one day I won’t.
I see the beautiful injustice in it all, but if it were purely just, God wouldn’t let us breathe anymore in the first place.
Sinful hearts and all that.
So what do we do with this thing, you and me? What do we do with aching backs and cracking hips and the dust of ourselves wrinkling and wearing like an old coat that just doesn’t fit right anymore?
Well, the world would give a whole lesson on how not to be and look like you. But Jesus, well, He wants every dying second of it.
Because we die, we walk a little closer to Him. And as we live, we’re proof that He exists.
Because who else would want a bumbling thirty-seven-year-old who once was going to marry Prince William and now practically loses a finger each time she slices an orange?
He does. And I’ll never stop being grateful.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
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I have problems. You’ve probably realized this by now. But I do think one of the greatest gifts God’s given me is the ability to self-assess my motives.
Self-assessment leads to understanding God’s conviction, then to confession, which leads to repentance. It’s a hard act of uncovering the wrongs in our hearts. But it’s a crucial tool to feel Christ’s peace.
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
Listen to all my diary entries here.
You might also like…
Why the act of submission has made me a better writer.
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I’m making a major life change that is making me feel better, body, mind, and soul.
I also talk about routines. Why they’re important and how they’ve helped equip me mentally as a mom, wife, and writer.
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
Listen to all my diary entries here.
Mentioned in this episode…
http://todoist.com/features
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bit.ly/mybooksforfree
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I’ve been letting go in all areas of my life. The hardest? Raising my daughter to know Christ.
But I have faith that God has already marked out her journey and is guiding her by the hand. It’s up to me to love her fiercely and to squash any fear I have that she’ll stray.
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
Listen to all my diary entries here.
You might also like…
Watered-down wine.
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I used to think of submission as the “s” word. Now, I find peace in fully surrendering to the path God desires for me, and this surrender extends to my writing career.
I’ve learned to let go and let God call the shots when it comes to my writing and marketing my books. But I’ve also learned how submission is fully embodied in Christ’s death on the cross and His resurrection. Why not embrace something so life-giving and honoring to others?
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
Listen to all my diary entries here.
You might also like…
My ultimate goal as a writer.
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We often don’t keep the main thing the main thing. Our human flesh is always looking for bigger, better, more success. But when we don’t put the Gospel at the forefront of our mind, the redeeming path Christ has created for all of us, are we really creating art? Or are we just creating a future the world desires?
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
Listen to all my diary entries here.
You might also like…
Saying “no” to social media as a writer…and a human.
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I’ve had a difficult time in my past dealing with body dysmorphia and over-exercising. It led to a lot of darkness. But fortunately, God’s grace has led me away from this misguided approach towards my body and to a new understanding of what taking care of myself actually entails.
Healing your body is also a great way to heal the mind.
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay.
Listen to all my diary entries here.
Mentioned in this episode….
God Will Make Away
You might also like…
Taking Lent to rest my writer’s mind.
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My struggle is real with this one. Other than LinkedIn, I’m off social media. More accurately, God’s asked me to be off social media, and I’m finally giving it up.
How do I do this writing thing without shouting it all over the internet? I share that today, plus what growing as a writer looks like from here on out.
Click play to hear my heart.
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
Listen to all my diary entries here.
Mentioned in this episode….
Unique Mums
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bit.ly/mybooksforfree
Get in touch.
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Ericka Clay 