My dream is becoming less and less about writing.
Growing up, it was my everything.
But as the years have worn on, and God has carved my path, I’ve realized how this gift is less about my dream and more about His.
And there’s a fair amount of grief involved in something like that.
BUT there’s also a ton of blessing. I’ve been able to help others bring their stories to life. I’ve been asked to walk others through this writing process. I’ve given away countless books, praying that something in them has changed a person’s mind and heart.
And I’ve been given the great gift of an outlet.
I don’t hold on to fear or bitterness or anger. I have a way to bring it all to Jesus’s feet. I’m grateful for that, and as the years wear on, I pray I can do even more, showing others that the hurt in their heart exists much better as truth on the page.
And all because I’m finally understanding what it means to no longer seek the approval of man, but of God alone.
I’m learning to crochet. I’ve always wanted to learn to crochet and knit as well as play drums and the electric guitar, but one thing at a time. My church’s worship band will just have to wait to hear me whack incessantly at a solid surface. I can practically feel their anticipation.
I’ve already gone down this road and almost immediately gave up. But I was homeschooling and losing my mind at the time, so I’m trying not to be too hard on myself.
What am I currently crocheting, you ask (or aren’t but let’s pretend)? A “blanket” for my daughter. Right now it looks like a cream-colored disoriented snake, but I’m sure everything will work out in the end. Regardless, she still has to use it because I’m her mother.
And look, I cut my hair. Actually, my husband cut my hair. I KNOW. He’s one of those people that says, “I can figure that out,” and then he goes and does it. And then I get a ton of compliments. The last time I tried to cut my own hair, I just got a few concerned looks and one anonymous call to the local mental hospital.
I’m hoping I actually did my hair this week so I can add a picture of it. If not, just imagine Jennifer Aniston with shorter hair. I look exactly like that.
As I continue to be your favorite person who has no clue what she’s doing, would you mind following my diary/podcast/random ramblings on YouTube and/or Spotify? Even if you already followed me on YouTube, can you check and make sure you’re still following me? I hid my channel (didn’t delete it) for a day or two while I sorted out the best move going forward, and in true Ericka fashion, lost all my followers. Which is fine for me but not so much for you if you actually listen to my ramblings and would like to be updated about them in real-time.
If I ever manage to do anything at all with my writing career, it should be real proof for you that God exists.
This week’s posts.
Like Marie Kondo, only meaner.
Exchanging man’s approval for God’s.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
– Galatians 1:10
© 2023 by Ericka Clay
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