Tag: knowledge

Posted on in Blog

Like Marie Kondo, only meaner.

I thought from time to time I could republish some work lingering in my portfolio. Here’s a piece from that collection. I hope you enjoy.

There’s a very small and beautiful Japanese lady called Marie Kondo who goes into people’s homes, helps them assess what’s needed in their life and what isn’t, and then has them say a deep and heartfelt goodbye to all of the personal items that once had a place in their existence but have long since wreaked havoc on the state of their affairs.

She’s basically me if she came with a set of matches and an affinity for the phrase, “Do you really need that sweater seeing that we’re all gonna die one day anyways?”

Matt and Ava have learned how to hide their things. It really is a glorious art to find that pair of sweatpants with the knee in the hole and the waistband that’s too tight, scrunching itself into a neat little ball in the closet as if I’m some well-mannered Japanese TV host with a penchant for sparing people’s feelings and who doesn’t enjoy the smell of burning fleece.

I just feel that stuff is stuff. To tag a sentimental value to something seems almost foreign to me, save for the few trinkets from close friends and family that actually mean something. But gathering stuff for the sake of stuff gathering is akin to the man storing surplus grain in the larger barn he builds so that he can take a load off, pop open a cold one, and enjoy the feats of his labor (Luke 12:16-21).

Oh but then spoiler alert: he dies.

I have to ask myself daily where my treasure is. I have to light my own match and hold it close to the things I think I own. I own nothing. I am a steward of God’s good graces. I am merely borrowing my home and my car and my dog and my daughter and my husband and all the other things that surround me that reflect an erroneous semblance of safety.

There is nothing safe about this world. Remember that. I’m not saying there is no joy, no hope. Oh gosh no. WE are that joy and that hope to a barren world that thinks it knows better. Which is why it’s so important to burn the mental ties to anything that keeps us from being salt and light.

The more tethered we are to “our” treasure, the less valuable we are to others.

But the more we light the fire to the ties that hold us to worldly thinking, well, we lift up and away, feet dangling, eyes toward heaven.

© 2023 by Ericka Clay

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Posted on in Blog

The dust of ourselves.

I thought from time to time I could republish some work lingering in my portfolio. Here’s a piece from that collection. I hope you enjoy.

I’ve been playing at this for so long, I sometimes don’t know the sound of my own voice.

I’ve become the thing I think that I used to hate. The woman sandwiched so perfectly into life that you’d never think to pop her out of it, put her in brand new territory.

Have I gotten stale? Am I nothing more than a useless bag in the wind?

Nah, I’m just thirty-seven.

I had a conversation with a friend about leaving your phone’s flashlight on. I’ve done this several times, but the worst part is scrambling to find how to turn it off. And it’s like my brain just can’t remember that step, so there I am, illuminating my whole world. Or rather, blinding everyone in the eyes.

My daughter giggles at me, gives me an “Oh, Mom.” And I look around like, is she talking to me? When did this happen? When did I become a mother of twelve-going-on-thirteen-year-old? When did this phone become the Rosetta Stone that I’ve still not managed to crack?

The world would make me think it’s all over. I found the first gray hair a few days ago in the Pet Supplies Plus parking lot. It was wiry and at half mast, and I ripped it out of my head. “Don’t do that!” Matt said, and I would have been more suspicious of myself if I hadn’t. Who goes around with a broken TV attena jutting out of their crown and clawing at the sky?

All of these things remind me of the thing I knew I’d never become. Old. No longer easy on the eyes (Ericka had her day, friends). I’m a walking, talking hormonal mess who keeps dialating people’s pupils at the random, and I no longer have any balance. I turned my head the wrong way the other day in our shed and almost ended up sprawled over my daughter’s bike.

I’m the female version of Mr. Magoo, slightly less myopic and with enough sense to worry about these things. But then again, I don’t worry much.

The whole world will pass away. Did you know that? You’re sitting here but one day you won’t. I’m typing these things, but one day I won’t.

I see the beautiful injustice in it all, but if it were purely just, God wouldn’t let us breathe anymore in the first place.

Sinful hearts and all that.

So what do we do with this thing, you and me? What do we do with aching backs and cracking hips and the dust of ourselves wrinkling and wearing like an old coat that just doesn’t fit right anymore?

Well, the world would give a whole lesson on how not to be and look like you. But Jesus, well, He wants every dying second of it.

Because we die, we walk a little closer to Him. And as we live, we’re proof that He exists.

Because who else would want a bumbling thirty-seven-year-old who once was going to marry Prince William and now practically loses a finger each time she slices an orange?

He does. And I’ll never stop being grateful.

© 2023 by Ericka Clay

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Posted on in Diary

Writing in the desert.

As an indie author, I can relate to the Temple artisans in Exodus 31, creating something so beautiful for God but for few eyes only.

I’m dedicating my work to the Lord, but I’m also suffering from the withdrawals that come when you realize something is not about you but Him.

I’m giving that old mindset over, allowing God to send those who need to read my books and blog to further their walk with Him. And these are my thoughts on the matter.

Click play to hear my heart.

© 2023 by Ericka Clay

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Posted on in Blog

Into the ether.

There’s a group I belong to that meets every week. It’s a beautiful thing I would have never thought of joining back in my “people-hating” days when the thought of sharing my heart was akin to that time I randomly got my period on an amusement park log ride in the sixth grade.

At one time, I wouln’t have known which was more horrifying.

But now I know it’s definitely the waterpark thing because sharing your heart is like lifting your burden off your shoulders brick by brick. It’s having all these “You too?” moments that make you feel a little less alien and a whole lot more human.

We live alone on all these tiny islands in our heads, only to look up and find the land bridge.

The other day during our group, we were talking about our knowledge of Scripture. I’ve been accused of knowing the Bible inside and out, which always elicits a “Girl, please!” because what I do know is how much I don’t know. And I’m finally making friends with that feeling.

There are a million Bible scholars out there and a million scholarly books on the subject, some of which can make you feel pretty darn dumb if you forget who Esau was or don’t understand what the word “hermeneutics” means. (Pssst…it has absolutely nothing to do with Herman Munster no matter how much you protest. Learned that one the hard way.)

What I do know is that my relationship with Jesus has nothing to do with my IQ. As Paul said, I can have all the Scriptural knowledge in the world, but if I don’t have love, I am nothing.

If I don’t know my God on a relational level, there’s no point in reading verse after verse.

Just because you know what something means doesn’t mean you know what it means.

If you want to know God, submit your whole life to Him. It’s that easy. Snort. No, I know, that’s not easy at all.

But what is easy? Making millions until there’s nothing left to buy? One-upping your neighbor until you realize your neighbor has died, and guess what, you’re next?

Living a lie until breathing hurts just as much as not breathing?

Maybe we all just stop pretending and understand what this truly is: God waiting for us to wake up. To stop sleeping. To start reaching out our hands to the only hope we have on this earth.

Or maybe we keep scrolling Facebook.

But me? I’ll keep reading the Word and being confounded and loving the truth and hating myself in those small hiccups of deception, and confessing my pain, repenting my sin, and loving the only thing that will get me off this ride and into the ether.

© 2023 by Ericka Clay

A FEW MORE THINGS…

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bit.ly/mybooksforfree

Get in touch.
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