What happens when my brain splits in two.

dear hearts

Unkept may be the two sides of my brain, but Dear Hearts is the two sides of my heart.

It was difficult to write, not only canvassing the pain that comes when infidelity inflicts a marriage and family, but writing from the perspective of a man who loves said family and adores said marriage yet has an affair with another man? Well, all I can say is life is gritty and Mitch’s life? It ain’t no exception.

Each word sheared away a piece of my heart.

Mitch and Elena are characters that are deeper than characters. They’re a pulse, working together and withering apart. They are victims to their own love story, craving happy endings when understanding what true, devotional, Godly love is has never glimmered on their radar.

They’re the prime example of what happens when life shuffles its cards and you’re left empty-handed.

What can we learn? Appreciate everything you have, even when  life feels like a single grain of sugar boring through a tooth.  Talk openly, honestly. Do no judge but do not blindly accept either.

Love with a sacrificial heart and an expanse of pure dedication.

Know that we only flicker here for a little while. So use every moment.


Dear Hearts is for the over eighteen crowd so please keep that in mind. Also understand that this book is not a promotional platform for any particular viewpoint. It is an examination into the human mind and heart and the struggle life brings when you leave God out of the picture.

You can read Dear Hearts for free here on Wattpad.

Click here for the ebook.

Click here for a paper copy.

Dear Ava,

I’m a horrible mother. And a terrifically good mother. And a no nonsense mother and a spastic, nonsensical type of female who keeps parking crookedly and forgets the word for fork sometimes, and then other times I feed people my brilliance.

I don’t think any of us were meant to be good at this.

But I think that’s okay. I think for the first time ever, there’s no good mother Olympics, no gold to be won.

There are mistakes and bruises and tears and the way she looks at me like she’s known me before she was born and wishes she’d never met my face.

It’s the same way I look into the mirror sometimes.

But there are those other crystal clear moments, a love abundant, a love like Christ’s, where I can feel it all weaving together, broken skin healing and that sound she makes when she breathes.

Step one, we are alive.

Step two, start living,

Step three, write down, paper to pen.

Dear Ava,

I’m sorry.

But dear Ava,

You now know the truth.

Watch Me Write: Stick With What You Know

watch me write

I’m all for new. New is good. New is exciting. But I’m also for the concept of “comfortable” which is why I live in yoga pants with a pillow strapped to the back of my head.

And I’ve realized the idea of “comfortable” is what’s made me excited to write again. I had been playing with the idea of writing a story called Marilyn Winters but it just wasn’t sticking. I then tried to turn it into a screenplay and that just didn’t get the job done either. I then attempted to put in my BLT, but that just made me cry and drunk dial an ex-best friend.

So “new” hasn’t been working for me.

But do you know what I’m good at? First person narratives. And you know what else? Being funny when I don’t mean to be. And you know what else again? Yoga. I’m actually standing on my head right now.

But the first two things? The first person/funny part? That’s what’s lighting the fire under my ass. As much as I want to get all literary and profound on your backsides, I know deep down that sticking with what I know and who I am is going to make for a much better read than forcing something that just doesn’t taste right.

For the Love of Chuck

So what’s this new story about. Let me fill ya in!
Toby Yates is a twenty-eight-year-old college drop out who still idolizes his old best friend, Chuck, and is currently living off his sister’s dime. When she threatens to kick him out of her apartment, Toby decides to get a job as a janitor at Burling Gates High to reconnect with Chuck who’s a popular guidance counselor at the school.

While cleaning the girls’ bathroom one day, Toby meets Wren Reynolds, one of the troubled students Chuck counsels. As their friendship progresses, Toby learns that Chuck is having an affair with Wren and must decide if he should keep Chuck’s secret or out him, putting his newly reformed friendship with Chuck on the line.

Humorously told from both Toby and Wren’s perspectives, For the Love Chuck will tug at your heartstrings and have you rooting for a very unlikely hero.

Watch Me Write: The Series

And just to give you the inside scoop, “Watch Me Write” is a brand new series I’m doing here on the blog.

I’ll be writing about my progress on For the Love of Chuck plus giving you the week’s BRAND NEW CHAPTER. This way, you can read my story for free on my blog and you can even read it on Wattpad, too!

So without further ado, here’s the first chapter of For the Love of Chuck! Hope you love it!

READ CHAPTER ONE NOW!

 

Now Chuck’s your buddy, your pal. The dude who mops up your vomit after a late night at Los Gallos that turns your bathroom ranker than a three day pair of underwear. He’s the guy that has your back and he’s the guy that had mine until Grace Anne nosed the toe of her dirty Keds between us. One second we’re on the bleachers watching our loser friend Kryptonite Chris make an ass of himself on the mound during a baseball game at Burling Gates High and the next, there’s this curtain of hair sitting between me and Chuck and I end up spending the rest of the game counting the dandruff flakes in the curtain’s scalp.

Grace Anne Delahoy. A real ugly thing whose tits didn’t quite pass inspection. But Chuck? You’d think she’d invented the chili dog the way he looked at her. And there he went placing his arm around her smoother than a shot of tequila while I plucked her shedded skin from my Royals hoodie. He hadn’t even asked her name yet.

That was senior year. Ten years ago. When life flies, it zips like a mother fucker.

Shit, I have to pinch myself now.

I’m doing this new thing where I pinch my arm every time I say or think or something bad. It’s what my sister Tammy calls “physical awakening” or some shit – ow – that she heard over at her yoga studio. She’s just there to fold the towels and wipe sweaty DNA off the yoga mats, but you’d think she’s a bonafide yogi the way she yaps about spiritual enlightenment and all that crap.

My arm is starting to look like an eggplant.

“Ah, underwear, cold pizza from a Ziploc bag. I have to admit, it’s no yesterday’s half-shirt/milk from the carton combo, but I think it has real potential.”

That’s another thing about my sister. She’s a real smartass.

“Excuse me, Zen Queen, but some of us are looking for an actual career.” She plops down next to me on the sofa and my bag of pizza hits me in the junk.

“I’m sorry, but don’t you need a college degree for one of those?” She slants her eyes at me like she’s been doing since we were kids. I almost forgot this part but when she was six and I was two she stole me and took me to the park and fed me the broken bread Ma used to give us to feed ducks at the pond. When Ma finally found us, she had to remove a knuckles-worth of carbohydrates from my windpipe. So that proves it. Tammy’s a whackjob so you really can’t trust anything she says.

“I’m sorry, but aren’t most of you friends married by now?”

“Don’t change the subject, asshat. You keep putting it off and putting it off but I can’t support your lazy ass anymore. Ma kicked you out because she’s smart and I may not be no Stephen Hawking but I need you to start pulling your weight. Lord knows it seems to be multiplying,” she says and jabs her bony yoga finger into my stomach.

“Ah Christ, Tammy.” She gives me those slant eyes again so I give myself a pinch.
“Listen I don’t even need no stupid degree. You know Chuck used to say-”

‘Yes. Exactly. Used to. But Chuck’s getting married, Toby. And doesn’t he go by Charles now? New wife, new house, new name? Chuck’s moved on. I suggest you do the same.”

I hear her and it hurts to hear her even worse than my bruised up arm. Chuck’s moved on. Chuck’s changed and is better and newer and different and here I am, naked-er, fatter, and lazier and in major need of a shower.

But here’s the thing I can’t say to Ma or Tammy or the entire world the way I want to: I love Chuck like the brother I never had. Screw Grace Anne if she thinks she’s going to steal him away and imprison him in her tract castle. I refuse to give him up.

My gut groans, scraping chewed up pizza through my bowels and it echos the sound of my life swirling down the drain.

I’m gonna have to get a fucking job. Ow.

D Is For Dysfunctional

d is for dysfunctionalWattpad asked if they could include my book, D is for Dysfunctional, in their official Literary Fiction list so that’s pretty exciting!

Why don’t we celebrate by doing a little reading? 🙂  You can read the entire book (FOR FREE!) here: http://bit.ly/1f66Z56

Happy reading, you glittery monkeys, you!  And if you’d like to leave a review, you can do so here or on the story.

Many thanks!!

I’ll Roast You a Ham. Promise.

story about a boy in love

 

This isn’t a real post as much as it is an opportunity to mention two things:

  1. I’m on Wattpad and obsessed with posting my stories there so please follow me, and I’ll roast you a ham.  Can you do that?  Roast a ham?  I’ve never tried.
  2. Oh my God, there’s this thing called iPiccy that makes it horribly easy to make book covers and now I’ve found a new hobby which worries me because I already have a backlog of cats to glitter.

The photo in this post is of a cover I made with iPiccy that belongs to a story I wrote on Wattpad.  Insert mind explosions here.

Anyways, happy vodka day you glittery monkeys!!