Trust is something I don’t do as well as I think.

My husband can tell me something for days on end, and it’s not until I watch some harried mother of seventeen on YouTube make a go of it out on the homestead and bake sourdough bread like the meaning of life itself depends on it, that I go:

“You know, she’s absolutely right.”

I’m surprised his head isn’t concave from how many times it’s met our bedroom wall.

I was explaining to a friend that the point of wifedom isn’t to concede that we’re the “weaker vessel” (and just to point out here, Paul’s observing physical weakness, and I would imagine — although don’t quote me — he’s also pointing out our weakness in light of the world’s [i.e. Satan’s] general hatred towards women).

Instead, I think Scripture makes it pretty clear that women are cunning and quite intelligent through the stories of Esther, and Deborah, and even Jezebel (not saying to follow that last example, just saying the woman was no dummy).

So what then does God desire from me as a wife?

I told my friend it’s to trust my husband. That’s what God asks of me.

Because my default gear is to trust myself, to do everything myself, to spiritually lead our family myself, to make sure my kid is a model citizen myself, to clean the house in a way that says “oh, haha, it always looks like this,” myself, to learn what the heck “barrel” jeans are myself…

Oh look. I just passed out.

Woman was made for man. And ladies, men were made for women.

I know. Not everyone lives up to the ideal that God originally created. But, if two hearts are focused on the same God, I’ve realized, they easily begin to meld together.

And so, if I don’t trust my husband (and go to everyone else and their mother for guidance and mentorship), what is it I’m really saying about God?

Ick.

So all I know is that when I trust the man God gave me to love, honor, respect, and protect me, I find peace. And granted, my husband does the work (you kind of have to when you’re married to someone who managed to light her dishwasher on fire), so there’s that.

But I’ve also learned to give him the space to let God change his heart, since that’s our Father’s jurisdiction, not mine.

And if I trust God, then I trust He has my best interests already mapped out within the marriage He’s blessed me with.

Okay. Time to get serious and figure where I’m going to house this jar of sourdough starter…and 73 chickens.